The Ugly Truth, All of It

Less than three weeks to go till the Reach the Beach Relay!

Fear not readers – it will be done, oh yes, it will be done! I can imagine myself frolicking over the finish line in skinny jeans, a perfect up-do, and rosy red checks from flawlessly applied blush but somehow that just seems like wishing to become taller with every birthday candle-blowing-out ceremony…IT’S just not going to happen.

When our team reaches Hampton Beach, it’s going to be a sight, that’s for sure, but not one that will grasp you in an epic Hollywood ending with a perfect ocean sunset and impeccable musical montage playing in the background. No, this will be of another “wow” factor ending, perhaps a bit “Rocky-esk” , but not one of red carpet material! It will be done, oh yes, it will be done!

SO…given the time left (or lack thereof) and my ability to talk myself out of training, I thought I would share the rest of the ugly truth, a weekly routine; A how-to or maybe how-not to train for the Reach the Beach Relay. Don’t be afraid if you don’t train this hard, NH State Park Bloggers are just solid gold.

Here’s the training schedule…

Day One: Sit and do nothing. It’s hard to find motivation after weeks in training of procrastination, BUT let it be known…TOMORROW, YOU WILL WORK OUT!

Day Two: Talk yourself into getting wicked motivated for tomorrow. It’s a work in progress…we get it!

Day Three: Go buy a really cute workout shirt…that always helps get the ball rolling plus you can get some cardio in if you speed walk through the aisles. You have to look good and a new workout shirt not only motivates you, it inspires you to look hot doing it! Plus, you need to show off all the hard work you’ve put into your bod from training for RTB.

Day Four: Stretch. You don’t want to overdo it because then you’re whole week will be blown. As my father would say, “stretching remedies everything”. One must live by this motto on a day like this, day four in a strenuous weekly workout routine.

Day Five: Run. JK…Who are you kidding…Start at a pace that is user friendly because it’s a long journey and you don’t want to get “burnt out”. Try this: run for 10 minutes, walk for 10, run for 2.3 miles. GOOD JOB and an atta girl…now that defines a workout, in a training type of way!

(high 5)

Day Six: I mean, you’ve got to take today off…so sore from your last training day and as we all know, you need to keep your body a temple and not “overdo it”. Ohhh and now you need to do laundry because you’re entire work out wardrobe is “dirty”…yes the whole thing! So a quick jaunt to TJ Maxx won’t hurt while your current wash is on the “spin” cycle. Heck, buy some new outfits to work out in because it only acts as a motivator for tomorrow’s workout, right! Hey look, a really cute dress in my size!

Day Seven: A day of rest…duhhh, you’ve just worked your butt off all week. Go ahead; indulge in a giant “cookie” as a reward and to give yourself a pat on the back!

So as you can clearly see, I’m a well-oiled, trained and chiseled running machine given the above regiment. I was born for RTB Relay, and NH State Park Bloggers will soar with this bedazzled athlete on their team. The NH Fish & Game team will be sucking our dirt while we preach about the importance of Lyme and Tick awareness in a, “meep-meep”, Road Runner kind of way!